Bleh! Somewhere Between Bollocks and Brilliant

Everyday Life

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Five Hours for a 25-Minute MRI

Today I’m off to Southampton for an MRI scan of my neck. The scan should take about 25 minutes. Getting there and back by bus and train will take roughly five hours. I’ve got bone spurs in my neck and a recurring sore throat. The doctors…

Episode V: The Stone Strikes Back

Six weeks after surgery, my follow-up CT scan has delivered the punchline: there's still a bloody stone in my kidney. At least…

Episode IV: A New Hope

Nearly fifteen months of waiting lists, outdated scans and kidney stones. Now the operation is done, the stent is out and, as…

Episode III: Revenge of the Stent

After nearly fifteen months, I finally had my kidney stone operation. The reward? A stent, a string emerging from my penis secured…

Episode II: Attack of the Stones

One kidney stone was bad enough. Then there were two: one stuck in my ureter, another in my kidney. An infection dragged…

Episode I: The Phantom Urologist

I finally got a urology appointment, only to discover the consultant was looking at a year-old CT scan and thought I'd spoken…

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!

I Can’t Believe They Use the Word Butter! Let’s get straight to it. ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!’ is a remarkably…