The latest
A little bit of everything.
For a while, I found myself calling everything either Bollocks or Brilliant. Then it hit me—maybe I needed more words to capture the full spectrum of quality. And just like that, Bleh! was born. Read more in About Bleh!
-
Bleh Is Back. Try to Contain Yourself.
I haven’t posted since January. I’d like to claim I’ve been conducting important research, but mostly I haven’t been posting. Groundbreaking stuff. Anyway, Bleh is back. Well, OK, it will be in November; I just need to finish off a couple of projects first.
-
Lidl’s Christmas Treats and the Quiet Art of Making Them Worse
Every Christmas, Lidl’s stollen bites, pudding and cake have been dependable favourites. This year, something felt different. The stollen bites lacked their familiar marzipan richness, the Christmas pudding seemed rather ordinary, and only the Christmas cake held up. Have the recipes changed, or have my expectations? Either way, a once reliable festive tradition felt disappointing.
-
Episode V: The Stone Strikes Back
Six weeks after surgery, my follow-up CT scan has delivered the punchline: there’s still a bloody stone in my kidney. At least the NHS has managed to discharge me without losing the paperwork. I’m still getting pain in my right side, though it doesn’t feel kidney-related. Apparently, the paperwork is now healthier than I am.
-
Episode IV: A New Hope
Nearly fifteen months of waiting lists, outdated scans and kidney stones. Now the operation is done, the stent is out and, as far as I know, the stones are gone. I’m beginning to feel hopeful. Perhaps my next hospital appointment will pass without anyone losing my paperwork. I’d rather not place a bet on it.
-
Episode III: Revenge of the Stent
After nearly fifteen months, I finally had my kidney stone operation. The reward? A stent, a string emerging from my penis secured with surgical tape, and a week when even sitting down hurt. I sat on an extra cushion. My granddaughters, meanwhile, kept running in for hugs and jumping on me. Perfect timing. Just perfect.
-
Episode II: Attack of the Stones
One kidney stone was bad enough. Then there were two: one stuck in my ureter, another in my kidney. An infection dragged on, a referral arrived, and the waiting list was apparently full. So I ended up waiting to join the waiting list. Even the stones seemed to be getting more attention than I was.
-
Episode I: The Phantom Urologist
I finally got a urology appointment, only to discover the consultant was looking at a year-old CT scan and thought I’d spoken to someone I hadn’t. Worse, I’d been removed from the waiting list by mistake. After thirteen months, the NHS had managed plenty of paperwork, just not much progress towards removing my kidney stone.
-
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!
I Can’t Believe They Use the Word Butter! Let’s get straight to it. ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!’ is a remarkably confident name for a spread. If you’re going to invite comparisons with butter, you’d better be prepared for them. Butter is creamy, rich and actually enjoyable. This stuff? It tastes like someone mistook grease for flavour. Marketed as a butter alternative, it’s not particularly convincing. The taste is… well, greasy. Not buttery. Not even close. It leaves an…