Health

—Or the lack of it!

Knackered:

Real age 60’s, Body age 75+…

—I’ve had more scans than hot dinners and still no answers — just letters, lists, and the odd laser threat. This is where I document the joyless admin marathon that is my body slowly falling apart. As the system watches, shrugs, and files me under ‘Pending’.

Episode I: The Phantom Urologist

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Jun 5

It started, as these things often do, with the promise of progress. A urology appointment, finally. I walked in hopeful. The consultant opened with, “I believe you spoke to my colleague Mr…” — only I hadn’t. I’d spoken to no one. The CT scan on her screen? A year old. To the day. Honestly, if…
Episode II: Attack of the Stones

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Jul 4

Left Flank, Left Waiting You know you’re in trouble when your infection has more NHS mileage than your car. Four months of festering on the left flank, finally a referral… only to be told the waiting list is full. So now I’m on the waiting list for the waiting list. That’s right — a purgatory…