—I Can’t Believe They Use The Word Butter!
Let’s get straight to it. “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” is a name so fraudulent it should come with a disclaimer. Of course, it’s not butter. Butter is creamy, rich, and actually enjoyable. This stuff? It’s like someone tried to melt a candle, bottled the remains, and thought, “Yeah, this’ll do.”
Marketed as a butter substitute, it’s about as convincing as a tofu steak. The taste is… well, greasy. Not buttery. Not even close. It leaves a film on your tongue that clings on like it’s got abandonment issues. One smear on toast, and suddenly, your breakfast tastes like plastic regret.
The branding doesn’t help. Slapping “butter” on the label when there’s not a drop of it inside is like calling a budget airline ‘Luxury Skies’. It’s misleading, bordering on dishonesty and frankly insulting to anyone with functioning taste buds.
If you’re after a butter alternative, that’s fine. Go olive oil. Go avocado. Go lick a rock of salt before you reach for this abomination. But don’t pretend it’s butter. It’s not. It never was. No number of exclamation marks on the packaging will change that.
Verdict? Bleh! Bin it.